Sunday, November 15, 2009

I'm alive... I promise!

Well, a break was needed- so I took one! I know I haven't been blogging for very long but My family and I had such a crazy summer that I needed to put priorities first- forget about blogging for a while- and get things in order! Things aren't completely "in order" but it's time to get back in the groove! So let's just play a little catch up:

The summer started out good- lots of pool time and playing at the local park!
Mid July, my family, along with my mom, took a trip/ vacation to Arizona to see my grandma. I will post on that later!
Early August, we achieved potty learning!!!! YAY!!!! More on that later!
Mid August, my dad who was already in poor health, began to deteriorate further. Within a week he had passed away. Although he was in bad shape, we didn't expect him to pass that quickly. I have four sisters (two of whom have small children) who traveled in from California for the funeral. My poor husband, who was very close with my father, acted as a permanent shuttle to and from the airport. Since my parents live in a rural area, it was an hour and fifteen minute drive, one way! He also kept all of us girls fed- nobody wants to eat and you forget to, so he reminded us and cooked for us (we developed a great love for quesadillas, he even memorized our specific orders!) Yeah, I know, he is just that awesome!
Needless to say, it was very hard on us all. It was interesting to see how our feelings manifested in each of us: One sister made a lot of jokes (she kept us laughing even in the sad times), one sister lashed out angrily at EVERYONE (she made us angry a lot), one sister was very sad and cried a lot (she reminded us why we were all together and what had happened- that was a good thing, in my opinion), my other sister was trying to be a peacemaker (she tried to make sure all the family was together for this hard time), all the kids (including mine) were confused and acting out (normal for a tragedy), and my mom was in business mode (she took care of everything... which is a lot! There is so much to do when a loved one dies. And you are expected to suck it up and take care of it all!). How did I handle it?? Well, I don't really know how I was that first week- I feel like I was in a fog. However, after all my sisters went home I COOKED. Yes, I cooked. I made bread, pasta from scratch, tortillas, rolls, lasagna, soup, tarts, cake, muffins, biscuits, cookies, more cookies, granola, granola bars... you get the picture. I cooked so much that I practically emptied our fridge/freezer and depleted our food budget for the month. I cooked more than our little family of three could possibly eat... so what did I do? I put it back in the freezer! I also made a lot of other stuff. Like bows for Corky, tutus, a place mat for her, a board to hang her hair bows on, ect. I guess for me, I needed something to do. Something that would keep me REALLY busy. I think I needed to be numb for a while.
After that phase was over, I became very irritated. Everything annoyed me: the way my house looked, if there were dishes in the sink, any amount of clutter, the fact that I don't have a headboard on my bed (we have wall hanging thingy), sometimes even my most comfortable clothing would annoy me (I just didn't like the "feel" of it). I realize now that I felt out control of things so I needed everything in my home to be controlled and in order. Sounds crazy right?? Nope. Just grieving!
Things are starting to get better now though. This is my absolute favorite time of the year so that helps my spirits. Also, today is Corky's third birthday! So I thought this would be a fitting day to begin blogging again.
Things are okay right now- the holidays are coming and soon it will be time to put up our Christmas tree! I have so much to tell you about but this post is long enough, so I'll save it for another!!

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